Iran & Squirrels

Take that, Ahmadinejad!

O.K., so I was thinking/reading about Iran and the possibility of a future U.S. invasion — and devising ways to train squirrels as infiltrators — and I came across this article from July, about 14 squirrels that were busted by Iranian intelligence operatives for espionage: AHN

Interestingly, Iran claims the squirrels were “Western,” and attempting to “undermine the Islamic Republic.” Well, they sure did a poor job of it! Sounds like a shoddy operation to me. Come on, George, get with it! I’m not gonna keep putting myself out like this. You want my help, you know where to find me.

If you want my opinion, I’m thinking these squirrels were either overfed or too tame. That’s right, folks, squirrels can be too tame — especially if they’re combat squirrels.

Without revealing too much, this is what I’d do: (1) you have to make squirrels train in an obstacle course (humans do it, and so must squirrels); (2) don’t give them standard fatigues (they’re already camouflaged, for crying out loud), and (3) minimize the love (trust me, they’ll be better off for it).